EvDork Central

So after hearing so many stories here on EvObsession from so many amazing followers, I’ve filled in more of my story. Thank you guys for helping me realize I don’t have to be afraid and that none of us are ever alone.

Here’s my story:

In 2001, when I was about 10, I went to the pool with a good friend of mine at the time. A few hours after getting there I went to get ice cream. When I came back to where my friend was I saw her in the pool with a little girl. I went over and asked the girl who she was. As it turns out, she (and her brother who was also there) were the children of my mom’s boyfriend. That’s when I found out that my mom was having an affair.

After I found out, all hell broke loose and the family fell apart. I was a total mess. Mom eventually moved out but still lived just minutes away, so I was forced to stay with her every weekend. That same summer my depression deepened because I wasn’t allowed to talk about my family issues with anyone, so I basically just stopped talking. I felt like NO ONE understood me. I eventually turned to cutting and it became a severe and deadly addiction.

Later that summer, my dad was taking me home one evening from my mom’s and Bring Me To Life came on the radio. I instantly had tears in my eyes, for the first time it was like someone knew exactly how I felt. I listened to the whole song and fell in love. When I got home, I couldn’t remember the name of the band so I used what few lyrics I fully remembered and searched for the song. I eventually found out that it was Evanescence. It became my life.

A few years later things were even worse. I was still cutting but now was a freshman in high school. That year was one of the worst years of my life. That was the year I was raped and the year that a girl that went to my high school not only brutally harassed me but also beat me up to the point that I was sent to the hospital. For months I was just silent. I never said a word, but inside I didn’t know how to handle any of it. I didn’t want to live. One night, I started planning my suicide. I’d written all of my notes to everyone and was about ready to slit my wrist when I heard a familiar voice and melody. Downstairs the TV was on and Bring Me To Life happened to come on. I sat down in my bathroom floor and listened to the lyrics and to Amy’s beautiful voice as I cried. When the song ended, I got up and went back into my bedroom. I (obviously) didn’t kill myself. Instead I either bought or downloaded every single Evanescence song I could find that I didn’t already have. Songs like Going Under, Haunted, Snow White Queen, and Tourniquet were songs that truly changed me after the brutal things I’d gone through because I realized just how much Amy understood everything that I was feeling.

Years later I joined EvClub. About a year after I joined EvClub my current girlfriend joined. I just happened to be browsing through new members and, for some reason, clicked her page and decided to say hi and welcome her to EvClub. Days later, for personal reason I’m not going to explain, we knew that it was more than just coincidence that we had met. We became closer than we were to any other friend we had. We started IMing and texting daily and eventually got webcam. Then, that summer in 2008, her parents for some reason agreed to drive her down to where I live so we could meet. The rest is history. We fell in love and she is now my life, thanks again to Amy and Ev.

Thanks to Amy/Evanescence, I’m still alive. I honest to god would not be sitting her typing this if it weren’t for Amy creating Ev and writing the music that saved me. Crazy how things work huh?

Sharing all of that, even though it’s an extremely condensed version of things, was terrifying. I will honestly admit I cried a lot while typing even that much. However, after hearing all of your stories I was just completely inspired to tell you more of mine. I promise each and every one of you that I care about you and your story. I understand so much of what all of you have been through and are going through even now. I love all of you and we’re all here for the same reason.

This is why I hold Amy up on a pedestal. This is why, to me and many others, Amy and Ev are more amazing than any other artist or band. Some people think I’m too obsessive or that it’s wrong that I think more of Amy than any other artist, but that’s because they don’t understand. Amy saved me. She is the reason I’m alive because without her Ev wouldn’t exist and Bring Me To Life never would have stopped me from killing myself. I also never would have met the love of my life. So yes, I think more highly of Amy than any other artist and I have every right to.

Anyway, that’s my EvStory. And because of all of that, I made the decision to start EvObsession so that I could connect with other people who loved Ev like I do and so I could share my love and have a blog in honor of the woman and the band that saved me.

I love all of you guys. I really do. I love each of you for following, for loving Ev, and for being who you are. You’re all amazing. If you want to share your story too, please don’t be shy. I’d love to hear them.

Thanks for listening to mine.